My delivery experience

I want to end 2019 with an emotional purge of a sort.  It's taken a long time (5 months in fact) to be ready to share this with the world, but I feel like it needs to be shared.  I need to tell my story for myself, and I feel like there need to be stories like mine for others when they go through similar situations and need to feel like they aren't alone.

**warning** do not read this if you are a little squeamish, have never had kids but want them, or generally get freaked out by medical stuff - especially medical emergency stuff...

Yes, it really was that bad...

No really - if you want kids but haven't had them or are currently pregnant, move on nothing to see here....

I have told this story quite a few times in the last 5 months but really am just now processing it fully for myself.  To say Little Dude's delivery didn't go as planned is an understatement. Anyone who knows me was not surprised when I said I wanted an unmedicated childbirth, or that I wanted to avoid a C-Section and most people were amused at my reasoning for avoiding an epidural (I didn't want a catheter and wanted to be able to stand up).
And honestly, I think if I had been able to have a more typical labor process I probably would have accomplished those goals, but Little Dude and God had other plans.
Late in the evening on July 30 I started having infrequent contractions (I had had an exam that morning and was starting to dilate but nothing exciting at that point in time).  I started doing stuff around the house that I wanted to make sure was done before going to the hospital but didn't say anything to my mom-who was here in case I went into labor while hubby was at away for Navy stuff (more on that later possibly)- or hubby because I didn't want them to freak out.  When we were getting ready for bed that night I told hubby to be prepared to go to the hospital in the morning but I was fairly confident I would make it through the night.
I woke up, on my own, around 6 AM on July 31 and so I took a shower and timed my contractions, they were more regular but still super far apart and honestly not that painful - I have significantly worse period cramps on a regular basis.  I sent my boss a text message letting him know I wouldn't be in but that we weren't going to the hospital yet and proceeded to spend the day hanging out with hubby, mom, and the dogs.   Around 3PM my contractions were about 15 minutes apart and I told hubby I thought we should go to Portsmouth for an early dinner so that if things sped up we were already on that side of the water since the last thing anyone wants is to get stuck in traffic in a tunnel while they are in labor.  So we went to Portsmouth for dinner and by the time we were done eating my contractions were down to about 5 minutes apart. 
I called my doula and we went for a walk around downtown before driving onto base to the hospital.  When I checked in with labor and delivery they took me back to triage and after performing an exam and measuring my contractions the midwife told me I had not progressed much since the prior morning and that the intensity of my contractions was so mild that even though they were pretty frequent she didn't really want to admit me yet.  However on the other side of that argument I was scheduled to be induced two days later so she was inclined to just move up my induction to that evening and we could go ahead and get things started.
I went ahead and had them admit me and once my Doula arrived I talked through everything with her, I really wanted to avoid pitocin and didn't love the idea of having it given to me to speed things up when I knew I was already in labor, even if it was early stages and slow moving. Hubby and I decided to have the midwife discharge me and that we would come back when things started heating up.  At this point it was probably around 8 or 9 pm.  I called the midwife and talked through all of my options with her.   After talking about my concerns she asked if she could check me again before we made any decisions and I had progressed 1 CM from when I was initially admitted.  Because I was showing progression and my contractions were even closer together (about 3-4 minutes) though still not super intense she convinced me to stay the night without being induced and that we would start pitocin in the morning if I wasn't showing more progression. 
Hubby walked my mom and the doula out to their cars and went to get our overnight bag and I started to settle into the room for the night with the goal of getting some rest so that I was ready for the main event.  I knew they wouldn't let me eat but I wasn't worried - I had snacks fully prepared for me to sneak if I got hungry.
In the less than 30 minutes from the time hubby left the room until he got back I went from knowing when I was having contractions but barely feeling uncomfortable to being super antsy, unable to get comfortable, constantly moving from the bed to standing, to having to pee.  The nurse kept coming in because I was moving so much the heart rate monitor kept slipping and my blood pressure was elevated.  Shortly after hubby got back to my room (around 11:30/12PM) I started feeling actual pain.  I paged the nurse and asked for painkillers because I knew if I were supposed to rest I needed something to take the edge off because there was no way I would be able to sleep with what was going on in my body.
Since I had been barely dilated about an hour prior they gave me the narcotic painkillers without a second thought - I was nowhere near ready to push and the medicine would be far out of my body before the baby was born.
And things just went downhill from there.
After getting the narcotics I laid down to try and rest and kept falling asleep then waking up for contractions.  I asked my husband after what felt like forever but was apparently only about 15 minutes if I was sleeping between contractions or if they were really as frequent as it felt and he responded with "no, you're having a contraction about every 30 seconds" which I knew meant that something had to be happening but since I had been barely dilated before I still figured we were in for a long night.  I started crying because I felt like I had failed but I knew I couldn't handle the pain I needed an epidural so I paged the nurse and she had the anesthesiologist come back and by some sort of magic he managed to insert an epidural despite my inability to stay still.  By this time I was completely sobbing because things were going so differently from how I had imagined.  But the good news was when they inserted my catheter they checked me again and I had dilated significantly more and they started talking about breaking my water - which I declined - I was at least going to let that happen on it's own.
Even with the epidural they kept losing the babies heart rate so after a little while my midwife came in and told me that they needed to use an internal heart rate monitor for the baby and that they would have to break my water in order to place it.  Obviously my babies safety was most important so I consented and when she went to put the monitor in place she commented that I was almost fully dilated and effaced - which was quite shocking since it was only about 1 am at this point.  I had progressed from 3 CM dilated the prior day, to 5 CM dilated around 12/1am, to being almost completely dilated around 1:30/2am.  This was going way faster than normal.  She placed the heart rate monitor, there was meconium when she broke my water so we discussed the concerns and risks and what would need to be done then the midwife left the room.  Less than 30 minutes later about 20 people came into my room - never a good sign  - they were losing the babies heart rate on the internal monitor, which meant the babies heart rate was dropping, no way it was just me moving the monitor, since I couldn't move the monitor.  The baby needed to come out and he needed to come out now.
The midwife checked me again and I was fully dilated so she told me I had 3 pushes to get the baby out. 
About 1/2 way through my second push we all knew it wasn't happening.  They started dropping the rails on my bed and unlocking the wheels before I even fully knew what was happening while explaining to me and my husband that we had to get the baby out immediately. The anesthesiologist started to push a spinal block as I was rolled into the operating room.

Everything from here on is how I remember it, the timelines are a little fuzzy and it still seems kind of a blur, partially due to all of the medication, partially because it was so rushed, but I think mainly because I had to disconnect myself from the situation as it was happening in order to survive.

When I entered the OR the surgeon called a time out to go over my medical history and the procedure being performed.  After going over the procedure quickly the surgeon asked the anesthesiologist if they were ok to cut and the reply was that it had only been 3 minutes since the spinal block was administered and that I needed at least 2 more minutes before I would be numb.  The surgeon replied that they needed to cut now and the anesthesiologist said ok.  He started using every medication he had on his cart and a second anesthesiologist who was in the room bent over by my head and started explaining to me what I would feel - and I felt everything.
As the surgeon made the first cut I jerked my arm (involuntarily) so hard that I broke the piece of the bed that it was scraped onto and someone else in the room had to hold it in place until they could get it reattached.

I then heard someone say that they needed to administer antibiotics just in case and I was coherent enough to yell that I was allergic to Zythromaicin (thankfully because that was one of the antibiotics they were going to give me), which I am sure they would have caught since I had a giant red allergy bracelet and it was on my chart but I am also sure I saved them a few seconds.  With the exception of that one moment of clarity throughout the entire ordeal I was screaming a single explicative...the word Fuck...It was the only thing I was capable of saying.  (My husband said that when he turned the corner with the nurse who was escorting him to walk down the hallway to the OR from my Labor & Delivery room he heard screaming, cracked a joke that someone was having a bad day, they realized I was the one screaming.  My heartfelt apologies go out to anyone who was in the Labor & Deliverly ward at the hospital the night of July 31/August 1 who had to listen to me, I am sure it was quite terrifying.)

Sometime in April Little Dude decided it would be a good idea to lodge his foot in my ribcage.  I swear his foot did not move from my ribcage until it was pulled out by the surgeon.  I felt it being removed, it was a very odd sensation.   They had trouble getting Little Dude out even once I was properly numb.  It seemed that even though my pushing was not productive the entire time from when I started pushing until they had me cut open he was trying to continue to pass through the birth canal.  It took 3 surgeons to get him out, and end the end they had to basically push his head back up the birth canal while pulling him out of my stomach feet first.  (One of his pediatricians who had been in the room told me later that I basically gave birth both ways and breech.)

After they removed his foot the next thing I remember a nurse asked if my husband could come in and the doctors said no.  I'm not sure why but something in the way they said it will always stick with me.  Never thought the entire process did I have any concern for Little Dude even though he was in distress and that was why we had to rush into surgery.  Instead the thought that went through my head was "I am going to die on this table," immediately followed by me hearing Little Dude cry.

Then I passed out.

It took less than 5 minutes from the time they started rolling me out of my labor & delivery room and when little dude was officially born.  It felt like a lifetime.  I remained in the Operating Room for at least an hour drifting in and out of consciousness because I was in such bad shape from the way they had to take Little Due out.  I lost a lot of blood and because he had a hard time getting out they had to make a longer cut than is normal.   I remember snippets of conversation as I drifted in and out and every time I came to I would ask if the baby was ok, someone would tell me yes, they would remind me that I heard him cry, then I would pass out again.  During this semi-conscious period I heard some very scary words and phrases, one that will always stick with me is hysterectomy.  When I finally came truly conscious in the recovery room I honestly expected to be told that my uterus had been removed and that I wouldn't be able to have anymore children.  But my baby was ok, and that was all that mattered.

Luckily that was not the case.  The doctors were able to stop the bleeding and get me stitched up properly without having to perform a hysterectomy.   Thought I did ask 3 different doctors during my recovery stay to verify that that was the case and that they hadn't just forgotten to tell me.  The only lasting effect of the surgery for me is that if/when I get pregnant again I will have to schedule an early C-Section because the additional cutting will make attempting to (or accidentally) labor naturally dangerous and put me at high risk for hemorrhage.

Little Dude ended up staying in the NICU for 5 days while he was weaned off of oxygen (he actually only needed it for a couple of hours but you can't just turn off O2 once you have a newborn on it.) We had some very minor issues with breastfeeding in the beginning that I think was at least in part because I was not able to actually meet Little Dude until he was 12 hours old and didn't get to hold him until he was almost 20 hours old or even attempt any type of latching until he was 2 days old.  Now he is a very healthy, very large, baby boy (he is in 9 month clothing, at 5 months old) He has been in the 92-95%tile since birth and is growing on his growth curve.  We are so lucky to have such a healthy baby since things could have been not so happy.

The one truly long term effect of his birth is that I believe the event gave me a slight case of PTSD.  I have historically been a little judgy about people who have claimed to have PTSD from events that "Weren't that bad" like this but now I feel sincere remorse for those feelings and nothing but empathy for those people.  One day about a month after Little Dude was born I got kind of spacey and hubby asked me if I was ok, I jokingly responded that I was having a Vietnam flashback, then stopped mid sentence and said "I think I have PTSD..." Hubby agreed with me and told me he would honestly be surprised if I didn't.  We talked about the possibility of me getting help and my husband encouraged me to do so but I honestly just never got around to it.  I was consumed with taking care of our Little Dude and as long as I had him within arms reach and safe any moments I had would pass.  In hindsight I think I probably should have been more proactive and probably should have talked to my doctor about getting a referral to a therapist but I also know that I didn't/don't need any sort of medication to help me.  I still wake up in the middle of the night occasionally (it has happened twice in the past 3 weeks) and check to make sure that the baby is ok and feel a little panicky but it isn't effecting my daily life and I have the coping mechanism that I need to keep it under control.  But I know if it ever starts to get worse I will need to make phone calls and get help immediately and I have taking the proactive step of figuring out what phone calls I need to make in order for that to happen.

To all the mama's out there who have suffered from postpartum PTSD-you are not alone, if it is affecting your daily life, please seek help, if you feel like you are out of control, please get help, if you feel alone, please get help, if you just want help, please get help!  Cowboying up is not the answer.  I didn't seek professional help but I did get a lot of help and support from my husband, family, and friends who knew the whole story.  Without that support I probably wouldn't have been ok.  Also, if you have even the slightest hint of postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety--Please get help.  These things are real, our hormones are insane, especially during the 4th trimester, it is not your fault and whatever you are feeling is real but just because you are feeling it and it is real doesn't mean you should suffer.      

Back to work and (trying) to get back to blogging

Well I have officially survived my first month back at work.  It really hasn't been bad and leaving Little Dude at daycare was significantly easier than I expected.  I miss him tons during the day and truly HATE pumping but overall it's not a horrible experience and I love that his daycare lets me use cloth diapers and glass bottles. 
Navy life is back to normal now too.  Because I am older and wiser than I was when I started this blog (OVER 10 YEARS AGO!!!) most of my posts about navy related stuff will probably be schedule so that they post a month or more after I write them or will be vague.  I don't apologize for this.  My husbands career is a major part of our life but with that career comes the necessity for some possibly overly cautious moves on my part.   For some reason having a baby in the house makes all of the OPSEC and PERSEC rules seem even more important, especially the PERSEC rules.  I've always make sure not to share anything that wasn't already public information not just in a public forum but in private as well but now I seem to be taking it to the extreme.  I am sure I'm driving my poor mother insane with my refusal to answer questions about when they will deploy or for how long. Granted some of that is because I simply don't know but luckily she is an understanding woman who just wants what is best for me. 
And now what is best for me is probably going to bed - sleep when the baby sleeps right?

The last trimester

Wow...The third trimester was rough...

That's not fair, it was just busy and I was a little run down.   Overall my pregnancy was very smooth.  Most of my complaints were related more to the weight I gained than anything else.  At the end of the day I had a lot of swelling and gained almost 56 pounds so of course I was uncomfortable! But I was growing a human life and it was worth it.  By the time I left the hospital I had already lost 23 of the 56 pounds so I have no doubt that a lot of it was water weight from the swelling, (especially what I gained at the end) and at 6 weeks pp I have lost 42 pounds.
Last week I was released by my doctor to workout so my dear sweet husband registred me for a Halloween 10k - So I am training for it with a jogging stroller, my goal is to finish in less than 2 hours because pushing a jogging stroller is hard work - Right now I am at 3 miles @ a 20 minute pace i.e. walking not at all fast.   I am also starting to track my food.  I have been able to breast feed fairly well so far so I'm not focused on cutting calories at this point but want to make sure I'm making good food choices and working out enough to see some progress in my overall fitness. 

I will share more about the 3rd trimester soon and will probably share my delivery story once I feel up to it - it was more eventful than I would have liked but both me and baby are healthy and that is all that matters.

If you aren't my friend on MyFitnessPal already and would like to be feel free to add me - my username is SRPM.

Back to the "real" Navy

Today my husband returns to the "real" Navy.  Not surprisingly, this blog is also returning to its roots of being a milspouse blog in a lot of ways.   

For the past 4ish years hubby has been on shore duty in an office building and exempt from overnight watch.  This means that for 4+ years I have had my husband home every night, usually at a fairly reasonable hour AND not had any concerns about deployments or underways to deal with.  

All of that changes today.  Approximately 53 days before I have our first child my dear sweet hubby is back on a boat, back to the real navy, and preparing to go underway.  Luckily he should be home for the birth of our son but we are looking at a deployment in the near future.   

Here's to adjusting to being a mom, and being a single mom, and having a deployed husband all at the same time - it's the roller coaster we signed up for!  Wish me luck :) 

Not leaving yet

I apologize for the brief break in posting.  We went home for vacation/a baby shower and life has been a whirlwind.  I promise a post soon recapping my wonderful baby showers and getting back to my regular schedule.
Third trimester exhaustion is getting the best of me. I’ve been falling asleep super early which has made my productivity when I get home limited at best.

Shanon's Book Review - Outliers: The Story of Success

Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell is a nerdy book if I have ever read one.  This book takes a long hard look at the little things in life that can make a huge difference in determining success from a young age.  The main argument of the book is that success is tied to opportunity and time, that hard work and practice are required to be successful but that without the opportunity the hard work is worthless.  For example he talks about the inherent advantage children have when they are among the oldest kindergartners in the class verses the youngest simply because these students  have a few more months of maturity--which is a lot when you are only 5 or 6 years old.  

Overall I got a lot of little nuggets of wisdom from this book and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I put more weight on some of the things Gladwell used to substantiate his thesis (for example, if I have kids who are on the fence age wise between starting kindergarten this year verses next I will probably make the decision based on the child's personality and readiness, not their age, I was among the youngest in my class and always received good grades/was told how smart I am) however overall I think I am better off for having read the book and recommend it to anyone who is interested in the science behind success. 

Shanon's Book Review - Hamilton: The Revolution

Are you as in love with the Hamilton Mixtape as I am?   Have you been lucky enough to see Hamilton in person, either on Broadway or one of the traveling casts?  I love Broadway and love musicals.  From the classics like Hello Dolly, to Thoroughly Modern Millie, to more modern shows like Avenue Q and Hamilton and everything in between I am a musical theater junkie.  I have had the Hamilton Mixtape on my Amazon playlist since it came out on prime music and it is still one of my go-to's when I need upbeat music to get shit done at work or home.

 

I listened to Hamilton the Revolution on audiobook, read by Jeremy McCarter and Lin-Manuel Miranda and I highly recommend you do the same.  Something about hearing the actual writer of the musical talk about his process makes it come to life in a way that reading words on the page can never accomplish.  Walking step by step through the inspiration and creative process that went into the development of this musical that is truly groundbreaking was a wonderful journey.   

I loved getting a behind the scenes look at what aspects of the show are truly historically accurate verses where some creative license was used to fill in the gaps and as someone who hasn't had the chance to see the show in person yet hearing more about the casting process and how the use single actors to fill multiple roles was extremely interesting. I always like researching historical fiction books after I read them to find out what is actually true, it was nice having a book that did that research for me. 

I gave this book 5 stars on Goodreads but honestly if I could have given it 6 or more I would have. 

Baby Shower!!!!

The season of friends and family members showering me with gifts has begun!!! Today I am heading to my mom's house and tomorrow my best friends in Louisville will be throwing my first baby shower.  I am so excited to celebrate our little one with our friends and family members.  The shower is going to be wonderfully nerdy - the theme is Doctor Who!  One of the hosts and I might be the only ones who understand all the references but it is going to be a fun day.

Next week my mom is going to have an open house style shower at her house so that the people who I grew up with and/or helped raise me can come celebrate our little one.  The party at her house isn't themed but I have no doubt it will be a nice evening with people I don't get to see often. 

All things baby are starting to take place and I can already see how blessed we are to have such amazing friends and family members.  Some of my girlfriends here are planning on breaking into my house while we are out of town (we have a dog/house sitter who will actually let them in) to paint the nursery so that I don't have to. 

I really am so grateful to have so many people who are excited to welcome our little man into the world and who are already showing how much the love him and us. 

Whats the nicest thing someone did for you when you were expecting?  If you aren't a parent what is the nicest thing someone has done for you unexpectedly at another time of anticipation?

Family Drama

As I have gotten older I have learned that pretty much everyone has some sort of family drama.   I used to think that it was strange for families to have drama, especially over little things, since my mom's family genuinely likes each other and gets along.  My dad's family had some skeletons in the closet but nothing I would consider drama, and he had a fight with his sister when his dad died but even that seemed legit to me. 
My husbands family isn't exactly the same as mine.  His family doesn't talk about problems they just pretend they don't exist, family events (especially funerals) are made up of more gossip than most of my sorority events in college, and I honestly believe the majority of his immediate family members tolerate each other at best.
Sometimes this difference in attitude is very difficult for me to understand and unsurprisingly it has bubbled to the surface during our baby-celebration planning.  My husband is used to the attitudes so he just kind of ignores it and tells me to do the same but I have a hard time with that.  Especially with my hormones all over the place.
So-what about you? Does your extended family like each other, hate each other, or are they somewhere in the middle? Does your significant others family handle things differently from yours? How do you adjust to the differences?

Fighting for your fertility

I’m cool enough to be a guest blogger!!
If you read this blog you already know the majority about my fertility journey but yesterday my dear friend from college Kelly featured me on her blog Momumental Love and I shared a shlightly different side of the story.
Go check it out!!!

Shanon's Book Review - Girl Wash Your Face

I have officially decided to change the name of my "Reading Right Now" series to Shanon's Book Review.  I feel like it is a better description of what I am actually doing with these posts since some (many) of these books, especially in the beginning,  I may have read a long time ago.  

Now on to my review of "Girl Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies about Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be" by; Rachel Hollis.  I read this book in January, so it hasn't been a super long time ago and gave it a 4* rating on Goodreads but really I feel like it deserves more like 3 stars.  I didn't write a review on Goodreads at the time (and let's be honest, my Goodreads reviews are usually pretty brief) so I thought it would be nice to document my thoughts here.   

Overall I liked the the book.  Hollis has a no-nonsense attitude and is very transparent about her own flaws.  I am sure she is a very fun person to hang out with and I would like to be her friend IRL; which is probably why her book and website and entire brand are so successful (in addition to all of the hard work she has put in.) The book is easy to read, well written and contains a lot of good advice about life.  But I also felt like parts of the book were misleading and disingenuous.

Overall the lies that Hollis focuses on are, in fact, lies that many women hear from society and from themselves and tend to internalize and believe.   Hollis does a great job of focusing on the importance of hard work and dedication to achieve success, and doesn't sugar coat the fact that success does not come overnight and that there are sacrifices we must make along the way.   Where she looses me is with the Christian themes she has woven through the book and the more rah-rah feel good on the surface one-liners. 

I am a Christian and I often enjoy reading Christian literature, studying devotional texts, and even reading "Christian Self Help" books-a category I feel this book was largely marketed as.  But this is NOT a Christian Self Help book, and therein lies the problem.  This is a book written by a woman about how she achieved success and that woman just happens to be a Christian so she talks about God in places.  Why do I have a problem with that? Because she also talks about how an expense purse is a marker of success and that all religions are equally right.  While I understand that different individuals, Christians, and Christian Churches interpret the scripture in different ways I also felt that much of her theology was flawed at best and by marketing this book as a Christian book it is misleading to both Christians and non-Christians about what the Bible has to say about these topics. 

Some of the things Hollis gets right 

- We are not perfect, we are flawed individuals and we need God's grace. (My takeaway: It's ok that we aren't perfect, but we need to do our best.)

- We should love people who are different than us. (My takeaway: Jesus ate dinner with the tax collector, with the harlots, with religious bigots, there is no reason why we as Christians should not be friends with people who's sin looks different than ours, it is just important that we keep in mind that we are also not perfect and that we continually work to correct those sinful acts and share God's word with those people in a loving way.)

What she gets wrong

- Hollis credits her self and hard work and self love for much of her success and wisdom throughout her life, she never credits her belief in God or his influence in inspiring that self love or work ethic.  One could easily make the argument that her presentation of this is a form of self idolatry. 

- Hollis puts way too much emphasis on material wealth and status symbols as measures of success.  (See above about the $1,000 purse) Success is not measured by material possessions.  When Jesus says "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" he is not saying rich people with lots of material goods can't go to heaven.  He is talking about how difficult it is for them to put the focus of their life on God and what matters over those material possessions in order for them to go to heaven.  

- Hollis tells you to never take no for an answer / to never give up on your dreams.  This is bull from a Christian perspective.  Sometimes God tells us NO, hard work isn't going to change his mind any more so than it will change your mom's mind when she tells you not to touch a hot stove.

- Hollis quotes a verse in Hebrews about the marriage bed and says "the things that happen in my bed with my husband cannot be weird or bad or wrong" and that is not what this verse is saying -- AT ALL.  I"m not saying a married couple should only have missionary style intercourse for the purpose of procreating as the good lord intended, I'm saying that when Hebrews says we should "let the marriage bed be undefiled" we are being told to keep our marriage beds pure, not that because we are married the bed remains pure regardless of what we do.  

- Hollis tells us to take care of and save ourselves, that no one else will do it for us.  While it is important to take care of yourself from a biblical perspective God is there to ease our burdens, our husbands, family, and close friends are there to lighten the load.  No one individual is responsible for doing all the work themselves, in fact there is an entire passage of scripture that people like to quote about being equally yoked with your spouse--this literally means sharing the load! 

If you Google "Girl Wash Your Face - Negative Reviews" you will be bombarded with results accusing Hollis of taking advantage of her white privilege or purposely "preaching false gospel".  Personally, I don't think either of those things are intentional.  I think that Hollis believes every spiritual reference she makes is well founded, she is simply wrong, and as far as her "white privilege" goes, Hollis did not grow up in an upper middle class white neighborhood.  She worked hard to get out of a crappy childhood situation though it is apparent that sometime she forgets how hard/impossible it is for the people who come from similar places to get the help they need no matter how hard they try.  

My reflections on this book have totally swayed my initial opinion enough to make me go back and give the book 3 stars instead of 4 on Goodreads - overall I do think a solid 3 stars is probably what it deserves.  The book is well written and engaging but I think it is one sided and flawed enough that the reader should take caution before picking it up.  

Puppies love babies too

My dogs are so excited for me to have the baby.   You might think there is no way that the dogs know I'm pregnant but I disagree.   The dogs have been all over my bump, I think Izzy knew I was pregnant before I did, and even K9 is being a little more gentle around me. 
We have started cleaning out the guest room upstairs that will become the nursery - normally the dogs totally freak out when we get rid of things or deep clean, they have been curious about the space but they haven't done their normal nervous freak out.
So what do you think? Science has proven that trained dogs can tell when there is a medical emergency with their owner but can normal household puppies tell when mom is pregnant?

Writing a birth plan

During my last visit with my doula she encouraged Hubby and I to start working on our birth plan.  She said most people's birth plans are these giant long narratives that doctors may or may not read so she recommended if we take that route that we give the long narrative to our doctor in advance then take a bullet point one page list and/or visual birth plan with us to delivery.
I of course am totally not the long narrative type of girl - So we are starting with bullet points and planning on having a visual birth plan in the delivery room.

What is a visual birth plan was my first question - a visual birth plan is this amazing one page picto-graph with images that represent the different interventions you do and do not want to incorporate in your childbirth experience baring any unexpected complications.   I had never heard of this magic before but I am so excited to incorporate a visual birth plan into our delivery experience.  I am such a visual person and not a narrative person I think this is exactly what I need. 

I'm still researching the different visual birth plan templates to figure out which one offers me more of what I want but I do plan to post my actual plan on here once it is done.  For now these are the different templates I am looking at.

http://www.visualbirthplanbuilder.com/

https://visualbirthplanner.com/

https://www.mamanatural.com/birth-plan-template/

I'm leaning towards the Mama Natural one because I love her book and other resources.

So what about you? Have you ever heard of a visual birth plan? Did you have a birth plan? What kind of birth plan did you utilize? Did your labor and delivery go according to the plan? 

5 things no one told me about being pregnant (so far)

1-How much toilet paper you need to buy. 
   Yeah, everyone knows you pee all the time when you are pregnant but I didn't really translate this into extra toilet paper needs...It feels like I have to change a roll every day now (I don't I did the math, but we are going through about 1 1/2 times as much as normal)

2-What a waste of time most doctors appointments are
    I'm glad that everything is good with baby boy and my appointments have been routine so far but they take less than 10 minutes every visit.  Weight, pulse, blood pressure, temperature, check baby's heart rate, see you in 6 weeks...I thought there would at least be some poking and prodding of my belly or something.

3-How much I would miss Sudafed
    I don't take Sudafed daily or anything but I do have some seasonal allergies, when you combine those with the nasal passage swelling that is normal during pregnancy (yeah, no one told me about that either) I just wanted drugs...I'm about 85% crunchy granola but I don't mess around when it comes to being able to breath so not taking all the drugs because I knew overloading my system would be bad for baby was really hard.

4-That I would be starving!!
    Basically since the nausea of my first trimester passed I have wanted all the food.  I'm assuming this will end at some point as baby grows and there is less room for food in my tummy but for now I'm enjoying it.  My calorie consumption might not be at the "eating for two" level but I'm certainly eating a substantial amount more than I normally do.  Hubby thinks it's hilarious.

5-That my feet would grow
    About two years ago I had a bad case of planters fasciitis and realized I had been wearing shoes about 1/2 a size too small for my entire adult life.  As a result I got rid of most of my shoes and have only really bought a few pair, all that are as comfortable as possible to keep the pain at bay.  No one told me my feet would grow when I was pregnant.  Almost all of my tennis shoes have started to get tight and my dress shoes are out of the picture.  I knew having a baby was expensive and I was prepared to buy a maternity wardrobe but no one told me to include new shoes in the budget!

What are some things that surprised you about pregnancy?

Questioning Everything

One day last week I was super busy at work so I turned off all of my notifications on my phone and my email.  April 1 is a pretty big deadline for me and I needed to get into a groove because one of my coworkers took a new job and I was flying solo on a project that we would normally be doing together. 
Somehow in the midst of this I missed a pretty important email from my boss about an audit request.  Even tho I was on a tight deadline, requests from our auditors needed to take priority because their deadline was March 29, so technically I had more time than they did.  Around 4:30 I opened up my email to see if there was anything needing attention before I left and of course I saw this email and had a major oh crap moment.  I knew their request would take me at least and hour and a half but I could still be home in time for my Junior League conference call at 6:30 so I didn't stress out too much - that is until I realized that I had saved over the file I used to create the report they were asking about and no longer had the year end version easily accessible to answer their questions...
So at 7:15 I was still working on the audit request while listening into my conference call since I was the only person in the office other than the auditors when I finally said screw it, sent them what I had and promised the rest of the report for the morning. 
This in and of itself wasn't a big deal, I have worked until 7 or 8PM (later when I worked in public accounting) more nights than I can count during January - April in my 12 years as an accountant, it is kind of in the job description.  However at the end of the day I no longer work for public accounting.  I work for a corporation that does not pay overtime, gives limited raises, has enough but not a lot of opportunity for advancement, and generally has no reward system for going significantly above and beyond the call of duty.  More importantly because the reward system is built the way it is I get the same reward for putting in significant extra effort as someone who just does a good job.  So now, I am questioning everything.
Hubby had plans after work so I had already told him not to worry about the dogs, of course now I'm a crappy dog mom because it was after 7:30 PM when I got home and the poor things needed to go outside and potty and wanted their dinner. 
Because I was so busy I only got about 3,000 steps all day and didn't stand up for over 3 straight hours, making me an absolutely horrible human mom since pregnant women aren't supposed to sit for extended periods of time due to blood clot risks.   Also I didn't drink enough water today and ate an entire bag of Cadbury chocolate eggs so totally winning on the healthy decisions for me and for baby. 
By the time I got home I let the dogs outside then just stood in the middle of the living room and cried (like ugly cried, complete with sobs and minor hyperventilating).  I can't help but question how I am possibly going to be a good mom to this precious baby who I have wanted for so long I lack the basic ability to leave work at a reasonable hour to let out my dogs.  If instead of dogs I had needed to go get my kid from daycare then what would have happened? Would I have had to leave work then bring my kid back with me? That doesn't exactly work well since bedtimes and dinners are kind of important? Do I just say fuck it, leave work to take care of my kid and not finish my tasks on time?  I have never missed a work deadline in my life and I don't plan to suddenly start but I can help but question how I'm going to keep all of the plates spinning above my head after this baby is born. 

Essential Oils and Pregnancy

I love essential oils.   As someone who is allergic to many manufactured scents I appreciate being able to make my home smell good without worrying about the impact on my lungs.  Now I am also allergic to things like pollen and pet dander so I am not 100% immune to all essential oils but in general I don't have to worry about diffusing something if I think it smells good.

Personally essential oils for me have primarily served the purpose of "they smell good"up until now.  I know that different oils have different effects and understand the basics of aromatherapy so I make sure to diffuse oils that are calming at night time and more energizing during the day but overall I have kind of ignored the true benefits of essential oils beyond "they smell good" until now. 

(OK, that's not 100% true I began to clean with Young Living Thieves Cleaner (we even use it in our hot tub instead of chemicals) about 2 years ago and have been a true believer in the healing properties and lice preventing properties of tea tree oil for many many years.) 

Now that I am pregnant I'm concerned about the safety of pretty much everything, and beyond that I want to take advantage of anything that is available to help keep my pregnancy symptoms at bay or help during delivery and with healing.  So I am delving deeper into the world of essential oils.   Learning all I can to make sure that I am making safe, informed choices about what is best of me and my baby.   

So far this is what I know:

1-Purity of the oil matters.  

A couple of years ago when I started using oils to smell good I knew I wanted to buy oils that were of a high quality because of my allergies.  I researched all of the major brands and determined that Young Living Oils were the best option for me.  There was another company I actually liked better but at the time they had a very limited selection and I had a handful of friends who sold Young Living so I decided that was the best route to go.   I do no sell Young Living Oils but they will be the ones you read about on my blog the most since I am of the opinion that if I have found a brand I trust why would I continue looking elsewhere?   If you are interested in purchasing Young Living Oils and don't have a friend selling them let me know, I'm sure my friend will be happy to help you.   Any link's I include in the future will be to her Young Living page since I do believe in the power of supporting each other in direct sales endeavors.  (If you are interested in ordering oils today here is a link to my friend Kelly's Young Living site.  If you want to get to know Kelly first you can check out her blog Momumental Love )

2-If you don't like the oil, don't use it.

Just because lavender is supposed to be relaxing doesn't mean it has that effect for everyone.  So why subject yourself to a scent you don't enjoy?  There are a ton of oils that work for relaxation, if the first one doesn't work for you try a different one.

3-Carrier oils are necessary for topical application of many oils but not all.

This one I'm a little less clear on but some of the bottles say that the oil is safe for undiluted/neat topical application while others require a 1:1, 2:1, or even 4:1 dilution ratio.  I figure since the labels are different for every oil there must be some sort of science behind it.  Off to learn more!

As I continue to research and learn more I plan on sharing the tips and tricks and specific oil recommendations here.  I've already come up with a giant list of questions to start researching and a handful to ask my doula during our first prenatal visit.  Are there any questions you would like me to make sure I get the answers to? 

Reading Right Now - The Radium Girls

This week's reading right now feature is actually a book I finished about a year ago, The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America's Shining Women by Kate Moore.  My Goodreads review of this book was short, sweet, and to the point; "What an amazing way to tell the story about these strong women who changed the world." So I want to take advantage of the change to expand on my review a bit now.  

Official book synopsis:

The Curies' newly discovered element of radium makes gleaming headlines across the nation as the fresh face of beauty, and wonder drug of the medical community. From body lotion to tonic water, the popular new element shines bright in the otherwise dark years of the First World War.

Meanwhile, hundreds of girls toil amidst the glowing dust of the radium-dial factories. The glittering chemical covers their bodies from head to toe; they light up the night like industrious fireflies. With such a coveted job, these "shining girls" are the luckiest alive — until they begin to fall mysteriously ill.

But the factories that once offered golden opportunities are now ignoring all claims of the gruesome side effects, and the women's cries of corruption. And as the fatal poison of the radium takes hold, the brave shining girls find themselves embroiled in one of the biggest scandals of America's early 20th century, and in a groundbreaking battle for workers' rights that will echo for centuries to come.

Written with a sparkling voice and breakneck pace, The Radium Girls fully illuminates the inspiring young women exposed to the "wonder" substance of radium, and their awe-inspiring strength in the face of almost impossible circumstances. Their courage and tenacity led to life-changing regulations, research into nuclear bombing, and ultimately saved hundreds of thousands of lives...

This synopsis does not even begin to scratch the surface of how haunting this book truly is.  Kate Moore does an absolutely wonderful job of truly capturing the personalities of the women about whom she is writing.  I remember growing up and learning something somewhere about the glowing women, probably from a footnote in a history book about WWI. I distinctly remember learning about how they would paint their skin to glow in the dark before going out for a night on the town or on dates.  What I don't remember learning is about how horrific this paint was for their bodies or the massive cover up that took place by the companies they worked for to hide the dangers.   I also don't remember learning that if it weren't for these women many if not all of the protections that employees have today would not be in place.   

These women deserve to be honored, not only for the work they did helping paint glow in the dark dials for airplanes to fly at night during the war, nor for the sacrifice they unknowingly made of their health during their employment, but for their determination and drive to right a wrong and bring forward justice for those who suffered.  

I gave this book a 5 star rating on Goodreads, and I am not the only one.  The current average rating is 4.18 stars, which is kind of astronomical for a historical novel.  If you are looking for something to read that will stretch your mind and teach you something while still having a story line I highly recommend you pick this book up. 

Reading Right Now - The Girl in the Spider's Web

As promised this week's reading right now post has nothing to do with pregnancy and childbirth.  In fact it is probably as far in the other direction as you can get.  (Told you, my taste is eccentric) Though I will admit that this is more what I'm listening to  than what I'm reading.  

This week's audio book is The Girl in the Spider's Web by David Lagercrantz.

  

Lagercrantz picks up the Millennium  series where it was left when Stieg Larsson died and this book surprisingly doesn't disappoint.  Like the other books in the Millennium series (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) the book starts off kind of slow as it builds the backstory for the central plot and catches the reader up with what has happened to the main characters since the story left off.  The story still centers around Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist and their uncanny ability to get wrapped up in mysterious circumstances.  There has been a lot of computer and math nerd language used so far but Lagercrantz has done a good job of explaining it to the reader in a way that feels natural.  

I love the mystery that is woven through the story and they way everything wraps up in the end, I loved the twists and turns and unexpected surprise about who the real villain of the story is.

The Girl in the Spider's Web

Inappropriate conversations at work

Wow, just wow.  Why do post-menopausal women think they have a free pass to say whatever they want about other women, especially about the status of their uterus?
A few years ago I had two coworkers who were pregnant at the same time, and a coworker kept asking me when I was going to have a baby.  I was fairly new to the office so I laughed it off and said "someday."
Then about two years ago my boss's wife was pregnant and the questions started again.  This time she made the comment on a day when I was having a rough time on my fertility journey and dealing with an unsuccessful IUI attempt.  So I snapped.  I told the lady the status of my uterus was no of her business and if she didn't stop asking I would be happy to file a complaint with HR.   She got huffy and proceeded not to speak to me for about 6 months (which didn't hurt my feelings at all!).
Now that I'm pregnant she keeps stopping at my desk and asking questions about my pregnancy.  Thankfully she hasn't gone as far as to touch my belly but so far she has:
-Asked me about my appetite
-Commented that I haven't gained enough weight
-Commented on how much weight I've gained
-Asked about my mood swings
and best of all
-Said "Oh you're finally getting boobs!" as my (male) boss was walking around the corner.  Thankfully I don't think he heard but talk about embarrassing.

What would you do?  If you have had kids what were some of the craziest things people said to you?

Journey to Pregnancy number 2 - abbreviated version

So I actually have more background posts from my original infertility blog, but I kind of want to skip over those and just give more of the facts and general timeline that have brought us from 2014 to 2019 or at least to where I feel like things started to change.
After I miscarried in 2014 my body acted normal for a brief period of time before going super wacky again.  I ended up going back to the specialist and received a formal diagnosis of PCOS.  I then had a second surgery to remove another polyp from my uterus.  Silly me I thought the second surgery would work like the first one and once the growth was removed by body would work like it was supposed to and I would be able to get pregnant again, but this time that wasn't the case.
After multiple long (VERY LONG) cycles, failed IUI attempts, and just generally becoming jaded with traditional medicine I decided to take things into my own hands and advocate for my own health.  It was during this time I started my infertility blog and eventually discovered Restorative Reproductive Medicine.
While I never consulted directly with a restorative MD I did dive very far down the natural and holistic rabbit hole.  I started by removing chemicals from our house, even though I was already eating fairly "healthy" I took things a step further, I started using essential oils and eventually, I got over my fear of the woo-woo needles and went to a Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor/Acupuncturist who a friend recommended and had used to during infertility treatments a few years prior.   
The combination of these changes seemed to work.  After just 2 acupuncture treatments my period started without using any drugs to induce it and since then it remained normal, if on the long side of what would traditionally be considered a normal cycle.   I was finally able to tell what my body was telling me and could identify when something was outside of my personal normal.

I finally got around to reading the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and realized that by not buying it sooner I had done myself a huge disservice.

While I was doing all of this my husband was working on his health as well.  A friend introduced him to Spartan races and he decided that he loved the challenge.  He let me do my hippie dippy thing and get rid of all the unnatural ingredients in our house and even decided he like the new essential oils we were using.   He even read the research I gave him about removing chemicals from our hot tub and let me switch out the pseudo-natural products we were using for Thieves cleaner based on information I found on a few different websites.  (Which let me add I will happily talk about later because the Thieves works so much better!)

As a result of these changes we both started feeling better and at the end of 2017 I told him if he could get our friends to do it I would like to run a Spartan race with him in 2018, which is exactly what I did.   But I feel like that is a story for next week.

Reading Right Now - The Mama Natural Week -by-Week Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth

I'm a reader.  I always have been.   I am constantly reading and/or listening to at least 2 if not 3 or 4 different books at a time.   I love audio books in the car or when I am working on numbers things that require no language skills at work.  I have some sort of personal or professional development book going at all times and usually a trashy romance or other chick-lit fiction book on my night stand.  

Since I love to read so much I thought it would be fun to start sharing my eccentric love of books with you. While most of the posts will probably be incomplete reviews (if I'm currently reading it I can exactly give my full opinion can I) I am sure there will be a few throw backs to old favorites from time to time, in which case I promise to let you know how long it has been since I actually read the book.  

So what am I reading right now?   

It shouldn't be a surprise that I"m currently reading a lot of pregnancy & childbirth books, but since I always have multiple books going at a time I promise to rotate between pregnancy books and books not at all related to pregnancy until I enter the next season in my life.  

The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth

by Genevieve Howland

I'm a little over halfway through this pregnancy and therefore a little over halfway through this book (funny how that happens right?) I love how Genevive Howland lays out pregnancy week by week and gives me a good idea of what I can expect to happen next.  She also shares amazing resources that really speak to my hippie crunchy soul.  My favorite thing about this book is how the author always gives the "natural" options first but she also talks about the more traditional modern medicine approach in a way that shows respect and that isn't at all bashing those women who choose not to go the natural route and that makes those who may have to have unplanned interventions comfortable with the process a hopefully keep them from feeling mom guilt that things aren't being done the way they may have originally planned. 

Check out Mama Natural on Goodreads 

What are you reading?   What was your favorite pregnancy book? 

World Down Syndrome Day

World Down Syndrome Day, celebrated on March 21 (3/21) in honor of the third copy of the 21st chromosome that causes Down Syndrome, is a global awareness day which has been officially observed by the United Nations since 2012.

How do you celebrate/honor Down Syndrome Day? By wearing crazy socks of course!   

Today I wore my crazy socks in honor of two great kids - my soriority littles daughter, River, and my high school friends son Boone.  These toddlers are amazing and their families love them fiercely.  They bring so much joy into the world.  

#nothingdownaboutit #riverisdownrightperfect #worlddownsyndromeday

Exhaustion

Over the weekend my husband ran an 8K and a Half Marathon.   You would think that that means that he is super exhausted today and absolutely worn out, strangely enough I think I'm more tired than he is.
My husband did not train for these races, but he is a natural runner and did really well.  He loves to run and has ran a lot of races over the years, some better than others and he has ran various lengths and at different frequencies.  This weekend's race we a bit of a last minute decision but he had fun.
I don't think I've realized until now how much of a toll the extra weight I have gained so far has taken on my body.  My feet are more sore than they should be given the amount I walked/stood, my back aches, and I'm super exhausted.  Also my knees keep popping and even my neck is tight.  I have a chiropractor appointment tomorrow and I'm sure that will fix a lot of the neck and back stuff my the feet might be something I need to be more careful about for the rest of this pregnancy.
Overall this weekend really has made me understand more about how people who are truly overweight or obese and try to get more active in order to loose weight feel.  If two mornings of cheering for my husband while he raced could take that toll on my body, how much more painful must it be to walk 10,000 steps or stand for an hour when you have an extra 40 or 50 or even more pounds on your body.
I'm also taking this as my sign that I need to up my activity level daily throughout the end of this pregnancy so that I can be as healthy as possible when it comes time to push.
Wish me luck!

Pregnancy number 1

So to pick up where I left off on Wednesday, as before you can get the long version by visiting THIS POST
When my husband returned from deployment in November of 2013 we expected to take a few months and then we would be on our way to parenthood, only unlike 2011, this time we were right.  In late February of 2014 we bought our house and in March we found out I was pregnant (the two events MIGHT have been related 😏).
At 8 weeks I had some minor bleeding and ended up in the ER, everything was ok at that point and I had a follow up with a ob/gyn scheduled for later that week where the doctor did a dating ultrasound and said the baby had a strong heart beat so we assumed everything was ok, unfortunately that was not the case.  About a week later I started bleeding again, only this time I knew it was different.  I was in so much pain I felt like I was going to die and there was so much blood I had no doubt that I had lost my precious child. 
My husband took me to the ER where they confirmed what I already knew.  And thus began our even longer journey to where we are now. 

You have a baby...in a bar...

Ok, not really a baby and not really a bar but I love Sweet Home Alabama so I thought it would be a fun blog title.

Our Friends Larry & Heather

Last weekend hubby and I went to a local brewery with some friends to eat yummy food truck food, play Exploding Kittens, and in the case of everyone except me, drink beer.

I had a ginger beer and it was lovely

Love a good food truck, unfortunately they only really had one item I could eat but it was delicious. 

It really was great to spend an evening out with our friends just having fun.  Much of our lives is spent working and doing things we feel obligated to do so when the chance comes to just relax and have fun it's important to take advantage of the opportunity.   Also Exploding Kittens is a surprisingly fun game, even when you loose.  You should check it out.  #notanadvertisment

The Cone of Shame makes its first appearance

I found hubby having to wear the cone of shame hilarious

Let's do this

As promised - time to start at the beginning of my journey to become a mom, and because biology, that really begins when I was a baby myself but we are going to fast forward a bit to when I was in high school and first put on birth control. 
For the full story check out THIS POST but here is the abbreviated version.

From the time I was 16 until I was 26 I took a pill every morning that kept my cycle in control, regulated my hormones, and suppressed any symptoms that there might have been something actually wrong with my reproductive system. 

When my husband and I decided it was time to start a family I went off of birth control and we naturally assumed that in a few months I would be pregnant.  On December 27, 2011 I took my last birth control pill, and chaos ensued.

After some interesting issues I had surgery in May of 2013 to remove a polyp from my uterus.  My husband deployed for the first time shortly before the surgery and I was scared to death.  Luckily my mom is amazing and faced her fear (and discovered her love) of flying to come be with me and help me recover in case anything went wrong.  The surgery was successful and my body decided to act like normal once the polyp was removed - which was an amazing miracle.  I was cleared by the doctors to go back to trying to have a baby as soon as my husband returned from deployment and so when he got home in November of 2013 that's exactly what we started to do.  

Being healthy makes all the difference

I never hid my infertility struggles from my blog, but I didn't always do a great job of openly sharing them either.  In fact when I decided to take some time to really embrace the journey and wanted to document what I was going through my gut reaction was to start a blog separate from this one because I felt like that content didn't belong on my "Navy Wife" blog.  But now that I think about it I was really just not in a good place and not accepting of the journey I was going through.  Yes, I am a Navy Wife and when I first started Modern Meets Traditional the purpose was to meet other women who had experience with the military lifestyle and could help me figure out what to expect.  But in reality this blog is just my life and my journey written down for the world to see.  So last week when I decided to go live with my pregnancy announcement on the blog I also decided that I should migrate my infertility struggle over to this blog where it really belongs, because it is part of my life and part of what has made me who I am. 

What is the purpose of this drawn out essay?  Well it is simple.  I want to make sure that you, my dear loyal, too lazy to unsubscribe from a presumably dead blog readers understand everything that has really happened over the past two (ok three, ok seven) years.  Which means there will probably be lots of reminiscing and revisiting old blog posts over the next couple of  months, but I don't apologize for that because these memories are what have made me who I am today. 

So later this week we will start at the beginning.  Hope you are ready because it's been one hell of a ride. 

All the food

This week I have been ravenous.  On Tuesday I emailed hubby and told him if my appetite was any indication of what we are in for in 13 years when we have a teenage boy we should start looking for jobs number 2 and 3 right now to get ahead of the expense!

So - fellow moms - what was your pregnancy appetite like?   I hadn't expected this since you hear about lots of nausea and sickness in the first trimester and having everything press on your internal organs so that you can't eat alot during your third trimester.  Did you find yourself constantly starving around the 1/2 way mark? 

BTW, I'm 20 weeks today!!! Happy halfway mark to me!!!

I'm pregnant!

Like really pregnant, not just a little bit.  Like 1/2 way to delivery have seen the babies boy parts on the ultrasound pregnant.  20 weeks today. 

And I am so freaking excited!

I don't know if I am ready to be a boy mom but I am going to do my best to deal with the snakes and snails and puppy dog tales.  I have no doubt that K-9 is going to be a wonderful puppy with the new baby and totally have visions of a boy and his dog toddling around our back yard.  I'm working on a post talking about our infertility struggles and what I think finally made the difference and am going to try to get into updating more regularly.   Maybe someday I'll even get back into the swing of twitter lol!

Lenten Reflections

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday which marks the first day of Lent.  Traditionally this means it is time to enter into a period of fasting and pennance in order to focus more on your relationship with God.  Every year I do things a little different and instead of giving up something silly, like chocolate, I try to add something that actually does help further my relationship with God.  
This year since I am pregnant I am technically exempt from fasting (thank you because I have been ravenous this week!) but and still going to abstain from meat on the proper days because for me that isn’t a struggle at all (I’m just not much of a meat eater).
But what am I doing to actually further my relationship with Christ? I have dug out my old note book and resumes writing the Bible (yes you read that correctly) every day I will spend time copying words from the scripture into my notebook.   Studies show you remember and comprehend more when you copy your own notes from class during study time so I figure this helps me better retain what the Bible says.
On the kind of silly side I am also taking advantage of this time to prepare more for Baby L by choosing one item per day to get rid of - there will probably be more than 40 items make their way out of this house but I’m going to make sure at least one thing is put in the get rid of pile. We have been in this house for 4 years now and still have boxes that were never unpacked in what will be the baby’s room.   No time like the present!

Exciting announcement!!!

The Modern Meets Traditional household is having a baby!!!!

Baby L will be making his appearance in July 2019.  Why Baby L?  Because our dogs are Izzy, Jersey, and K-9 so obviously L is the only choice for a name.

I've waited to announce this on my blog since we have had such a long journey and I'm so bad at updating the blog and am fairly confident I have exactly 1 follower at this point :) But I did want to update the blog-o-sphere since I have a feeling I will making a reappearance during this new phase in my life.   In preparation for this adventure I  am importing old posts that I wrote for my attempt at a Spartan blog and my Infertility blog so feel free to go back in time and peruse the old entries from 2018 and 2017 that have magically appeared :) I will also start working on giving it a bit of an overall facelift since I just installed a random theme when my custom design died a couple of years ago.