Poor planning

Today I went to the eye doctor...on December 30 I decided to go to the eye doctor...What a silly idea, At least I had an appointment and my doctor is a friend so I felt like slightly less of a jerk.

The downside of my silliness, I'm going to have to go at lunch tomorrow to fill my contact prescription and get my lenses ordered for my glasses if I want to use my VSP this year because the office was so busy ordering them this evening was out of the question.

Now to practice proper planning and get to work figuring out what freezer meals I'll be making this weekend :)

Upcoming Excitement

I know whenever I say something like that it just makes you shake with anticipation...especially given my history of disappearing from the blog-o-sphere immediately after making empty promises...however--

This weekend Hubby and I are going to make freezer meals to prepare for our healthy 2016!  I promise to post recipes and pictures as we complete them :)

YAY!!!

New Year's Resolutions

I know they are stupid, we all know they are stupid however that doesn’t stop us from making them.   Here are my resolutions for 2016:

1. Continue making healthy choices with a goal of reaching a healthy BMI/BF% by June (unless pregnant)
2. Sell house in Louisville
3. Payoff debt-specifically:

0% financing for mattress $1,000

0% financing for furniture $2,000

0% home improvement loan $1,500

American Express Credit Card $4,000

Kroger Credit Card $1,500

HSBC Credit Card $1,500(note this was used for Holiday Travel/Gifts, scheduled to pay off by end of February)

Total to pay-off $11,500 + regular payments on other debt

4. Focus on using AdvoCare to help friends and family make healthy choices with us.  
1. Goal of having 12 people take the 24 day challenge and at least 6 continue making healthy choices throughout 2016. 
2. Provide proper motivation and coaching for those who try AdvoCare because of us.

5. Finish bathroom renovation
6. Unpack boxes in storage and get rid of everything we don’t need
7. Run Wicked 10K in October
8. Meal plan and stick to plan weekly
9. Follow net-zero budget to penny
10. Read 52 books, at least 20 of which are actual books not audio books.

So what are your stupid New Years resolutions?  

The Importance of Being Healthy

I may have mentioned in the past (given my sporadic posting over the past year I honestly can’t remember) Hubby’s discovery of and my re-introduction to AdvoCare nutrition products.   

In case I haven’t mentioned it before, and you are wondering what AdvoCare is here is an introduction from the company website:

“At AdvoCare, We Build Champions^® through physical and financial wellness. Backed by the latest science, AdvoCare provides innovative nutritional, weight-management, sports performance and skin care products. In addition, the AdvoCare business opportunity empowers individuals to explore their ultimate earning potential. AdvoCare was founded in 1993 and is headquartered in Plano, Texas.”

I’m starting by explaining AdvoCare because the background information is really necessary to understand my current problem.  

Last spring Hubby tried the AdvoCare 24 day challenge (you may remember I did a challenge a couple of years ago and had good results but he wouldn’t try it with me).  He had amazing results and became super excited about the products so we signed up as wholesale customers so that we could take advantage of the discount the company offers and I ordered a Challenge to do in preparation for our trip to Hawaii. Since we started using products Hubby has lost over 70 pounds (I honestly don’t know the final number but last time I checked it was 70 pounds…and I know he has lost more since then) and I have lost close to 20 pounds.  We have both become much more conscientious of what we are eating and have done a great job of sticking to healthy choices (not to say we didn’t have pie on Thanksgiving) at least most of the time.  

We have not been home since last Christmas because we went to Hawaii over the summer for the wedding of a childhood friend.  Therefore many of our friends and family members have not seen us in 12 months.  This includes hubby’s older sister who usually hosts our “Christmas” dinner when we go home.  She knows that hubby has struggled with his weight over the years.   Their entire family battles at least a few extra pounds so I’m sure part of it is genetics (though I’m also sure more of it is other things) however whenever we go home she always fills both of our stockings with lots of candy and treats.  

I grew up in a house where candy truly was a treat.   So much so that when I asked for a piece of candy as a small child what I was really asking for was a single tic-tac because that’s what I got.  Not because my parents were anti-sugar or health nuts but simply because that is how they lived their lives.   I got candy in my stocking but I also got small toys or books so it wasn’t all candy.

My sister in law has made comments in the past about me being a picky eater (I’m not, I will eat almost anything I just don’t eat a lot of it and try to avoid overdoing sweets/treats/desserts).  Their family also doesn’t exactly practice moderation-if they find out you like something, there is a good chance you will get 20 pounds of 100’s of related nic-nacs related to every year for the rest of your life. It doesn’t matter if this is pistachios (no really, I’ve gotten a giant Sams-club size thing of pistachios the last 3 years for Christmas, not that I’m complaining because it means I didn’t have to buy them), Dark Chocolate kisses, or monkey’s… They do everything to the extreme.  Which is great because it is how they show you that they love you…thus enters my dilemma…because Hubby was raised in this environment he isn’t the best at moderation either—though he has improved tremendously over the last year.  So I am really worried about how he is going to respond when he gets a stocking full of sweet treats that he has historically eaten in 2 days then proceeded to go and buy more of.  Is he going to say something about not eating that stuff anymore in front of her and hurt her feelings? Is he going to eat it all and get sick?   Is he going to go back to old habits that he has worked so hard to break?   I know this sounds silly and like I am talking about someone with a true addiction like an alcoholic or drug addict, but this is the problem in our lives right now so it is the one I’m worried about. 

How do I ask my sister in law to limit the sweet treats this year without A) sounding like a completely judgmental/ungrateful bitch and B) hurting her feelings?  Or do I just let her do her thing and risk whatever hubby’s reaction may be???  

What would you do?

Time to overshare

I had thought after last nights post I would hold off on oversharing about the nitty gritty details of my struggle and stick with vague generalities...however I have to say my ovaries may jump out of my body and explode.   My doctor has put me on medicine to induce/increase ovulation and I am sure it is working because goodness my ovaries are swollen!  

Life is a journey

My last post was about the miscarriage I had last year, which lines up with about the time I quit blogging and left the internet world.   This post goes a little further into my emotions and feelings and current steps being taken.

So roughly 2.5 years ago I wrote a guest post for my friend Wifey @ Wife of a Sailor about infertility.  Since then I have been pretty much silent on the subject.

This silence has existed for a reason and now I'm at a point where I just need to think out loud, to vent, share, on and complain....so here I am sharing with the entire interwebz my struggle.
I'm sure at this point given my relative radio silence over the past few years on this blog I have very few, if any, active followers yet but this is my space and so...

After hubby returned from deployment we quickly got pregnant, I was so excited.  I loved being pregnant, unfortunately at about 10 weeks we lost the baby.   I had a miscarriage the day after putting a copy of an ultrasound picture in the mail to my mom to tell her the great news.   The only thing I really remember about that night I lying on the bed in the ER sobbing uncontrollably when I remembered mailing the picture.   I looked at hubby and all I said was "you have to call and tell mom, I can't do it."

Hubby was amazing, we found out I was pregnant shortly after closing on our new house.  We had started our minor renovations when we found out but dear sweet hubby was stuck refinishing floors on his own after a very short tutorial from me (since I had done it before) then I bailed.  He busted his butt working on the house, then after I lost the baby busted his butt to make sure I was taken care of.

All he wanted was for me to be ok, so once I reached a point where I could function like a normal human being I was ok...at least as far as I let on, for the most part.   There were (are) occasionally times when I just can't hold it together.   Nights when I start sobbing uncontrollably with grief for no clear reason, days when I snap at him for not caring.  It has been over a year but I still feel empty inside.

After the miscarriage there were a lot of doctors appointments.   A lot of lab work.  A lot of ultrasounds...In the end my doctor decided to put me on a low dose thyroid pill because my thyroid levels were low but within the normal range, and there is a high correlation that has been found in multiple studies between thyroid levels like mine and early miscarriage.

So I thought I would take this magic pill and everything would get better.  I thought after a couple of months I would be pregnant again and this time my body wouldn't fail me, this time I would go to the hospital after 9ish months and come home with a healthy baby...

I was wrong.   I have now been on thyroid medication for 11 months and still not pregnant.   Maybe in time it will happen, but it hasn't yet and now we have to start exploring the cause once again.

I'm lucky that I have been assigned an amazing infertility doctor.  She is on the cutting edge of the field and explains things in a way that is easy to understand.   She recently diagnosed me with PCOS which sucks but at least it gives us a starting point as we explore treatment options and continue this journey.

If you would like to read my original post on Wife's blog it can be found here.

Life is boring

Nothing overly exciting is currently happening in my life.  I apologize to those of you who actually attempt to read about my life.   In February we bought a new house and I was extremely excited about keeping everyone updated about our progress renovating etc, but life happened as it tends to do and threw a curve ball.  

In March I found out I was pregnant.   I was super excited but at the same time nervous about sharing the news since we had had some issues in the past and I know the statistics about 1st trimester miscarriage etc.  so I avoided posting blog updates.   Then as if I jinxed myself by being discrete I had a miscarriage in May.

The miscarriage was one of the hardest things I have gone through in my life and many of my close IRL friends still don't know about it.   (in fact, it's possible that one or two might find out through this blog post assuming they still have my blog on their blog feed since google reader was killed...oops!)

However I have decided that while I"m not going to make a banner to wear around that screams "I had a miscarriage" I recently read an article that made me realize I also shouldn't be hiding in the shadows.   I am amazed by the number of women I know who are dealing with infertility.   I am even more amazed by the number of close friends I have discovered have dealt with miscarriages at various points in pregnancy and chemical pregnancy.

Recently I went to the doctor to follow up on my issues and new blood work was ordered, we discovered that my Thyroid levels are at the high boundary of what is considered normal which may be connected to my problems so the doctor put  me on a very low dose of Thyroid medication to help balance out my body in hopes that when I get pregnant again we won't have the same heartbreaking results.  We also ran some other tests/ultrasounds/etc. and I have an appointment soon to make sure that every thing else looked ok.   From there we will decide what to do next but I have a feeling it will be just staying the course and seeing what happens for a few months before we take any other measures assuming everything looked ok.

Outside of my reproductive organs, I am still working on my CPA license.  I hope to pass the last part of the exam in February so if everyone can send me good juju and study power that would be wonderful.

Hubby has gone back to school as of two weeks ago and is doing well in his classes.   He is taking an online accounting class and thought I would be able to help him.   OMG the way they are teaching journal entries and T accounts is so convulated I just confuse him when I try to help!   Sadly I think he might be on his own for this one!   Good thing he's smart.  

I'll try to do a better job of updating in the future.