Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I want to be a better person

People say it all the time…”I want to be a better person”-but what do they really mean?
Being a better person means different things to different people at different times.  It could me I want to be have and be a “good boy,” as was the case with Huck Fin after he was taken in by the Widow Douglass (before of course he ran away with the Slave Jim).  Another possible meaning by I this statement is that I want to be more Christ-like, I want to be less sinful, I want to be nicer…All of these are completely valid meanings when saying I want to be a better person.  They are not however what I mean.  Do I want these things yes but right now I am in a place where I truly want to be better, in every aspect of myself.
I want to be healthier
I want to be nicer
I want to be happier
I want to be more productive
I want to be more active
I want to help others
I want to be smarter
I want to be less lazy
I want to learn more
I want to show my husband how much I love him every day
I want to make other people happy
I want to be a more giving person
I want to be a more forgiving person
I want to be a better person.
So a few people have asked me what put me on such a health kick lately.  The honest answer is I want to be a better person.  I am by no means fat, but I am (slightly) overweight.  This time last year through last fall I did a great job losing it.  I trained for 2 5(k)’s, the first with my super awesome fellow navy-wife @Sespi from And You Never Did Think, my second with some friends from work.  I lost about 15 lbs and felt the best I have in years.  Then I got lazy, then the holidays came, then I moved…and I ended up gaining 20 lbs…guess what that was not a rebound from a crazy diet, it was simply me getting fat from being lazy.  I’ve realized that if I want to feel that good again I have to get off of my ass and do something about it.  So I am doing something about it.  I am taking the first (baby) steps towards being a better person.  Well the second steps…starting my MBA program feeds into this too, so will getting my CPA…I have a plan..and it’s not all about losing weight.  I really really really want to be the best me possible.  I want to accomplish all of my goals.  It may take me 5, 10, 15 years but I will do it because I am capable.  And once I accomplish a goal I’m going to do my damndest to make sure I don’t fall back into old habits.  So yes, right now I am obsessed with counting calories and making sure I go to the gym…but next year I’m going to be obsessed with the CPA exam...while still counting calories and going to the gym.  And the next year I’m going to be obsessed with volunteering, while keeping up my CPE credits to keep my CPA license active and counting calories and going to the gym.  This is just the part I am broadcasting right now.  If I can get into the habit of doing these things they won’t become work anymore.  I’m not saying my MBA classes are easy but aside from the occasional text about hating calculus (Why in the hell do I need to re-take calculus?  I have proven I don’t need it in the real world!?!?!?!?!) I am no longer broadcasting every time I complete an assignment. 
So thank you loyal blog readers for putting up with this weeks/months/years obsession and with me broadcasting every time I lose .1lb because when I write it down it seems real and the more I do the more I am likely to keep doing.
Tomorrow I will be a better person than today.  As Albus Dumbledore said “Do or do not, there is no try.” 

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