Crazy Days

OMG...What a crazy day! 

This afternoon my realtor had some free time (he is one of my best friends husbands) and went by my house in Louisville to make a list of the things I need to do now that the tenant had moved out (who is another friend)to get the house ready to sell.  I am absolutely pissed! How in the WORLD can someone who claims to be a friend leave such disarray in my home when I am trying to sell it?????????

His lease ended May 1, he moved into a new place April 28th.  He should have been out of my house by now!  I knew the realtor was going over this week to make the list and had told our friend this.  The friend said that the upstairs was empty last week when I talked to him and that he still had some stuff in the basement he wanted to sort through so that he wasn't paying to store stuff he didn't want.  Which I was fine with because I knew the upstairs would need a little bit of work done before we could list the house. 

When the realtor got to the house the alarm had been set.  My friend did not use the alarm the entire time he lived there so it did not occur to me to give the realtor the alarm code.  My friend was still listed as the first person for the alarm company to call before dispatching the police.  When they called him he told them he had no clue who was there and to send the police...HE KNEW THE REALTOR WOULD BE THERE THIS WEEK!!!!! WTH!!!! So I call the alarm company tell them to remove him from the account and get it put back in my name.  The call to stop the dispatch but the cops were already on my street so they stopped anyway.  The cop started laughing when he saw the realtor signs on our realtors truck and him locking the door behind him with nothing except a clipboard in his hands :)   Turns out the cop is getting ready to move and needed a realtor YAY my friend has a new client wanting to look in a fairly high-end part of town.  Hopefully this means he will make enough off of the cop's house to make up for the fact that he is helping me soooo much with this house and it is worth peanuts.
After all of this I get a text from the Realtors wife.  She said "Realtor just got home, he was going to call you but wants you to call him after you are home and in a place where it is safe to scream."  My only response was FUCK.  For those of you who don't know me I don't use that word very often, and when I do it is in more of a lighthearted fashion...my girlfriend knew I was pissed and apparently started laughing when she got my text. 

So I came home and called the realtor and my wonderful friend Laney came and got the puppies and took them to the dog park for me so I could concentrate on being pissed off.  Here is the damage:
Upstairs still has a lot of little stuff, a large china cabinet, kitchen stuff, oh yeah and 2 bags of trash in the kitchen that is full of bugs....WTH! BUGS!!!!  The two rooms with carpet will probably have to have the carpet replaced.  There is so much dog hair he couldn't even see the floor he is pretty sure that it is ground into the carpet and probably won't come up :(  Luckily there is decent hardwood under the carpet so we can sand the floors and polyurethane them when we do the living room.  I'm also going to have to paint the entire upstairs, I was expecting to have to paint 1 bedroom, the living room, and maybe the kitchen but the kitchen is a most definitely and the bedroom I thought would be OK has all sorts of marks on the wall from furniture banging into it.  Marks that weren't there 6 months ago. 

Now for the basement--There is so much shit in the basement that the realtor didn't even leave the stairwell...our friend has more shit in the basement than we did...

Last of all the yard--There is dog shit everywhere and the grass is almost knee high in the back yard.  For those of you who live under rocks the Kentucky Derby was on Saturday, for those of you who aren't from the Louisville area the Derby is a HUGE deal in Louisville, this is the city's time to shine.  Because of all of the attention that the city draws the metro government goes crazy on making sure everything looks nice.  I am lucky that I don't have a $200-$500 fine on my hands for the yard not being mowed...I can only assume that from the road you can't tell how bad the back yard is.  It should have been mowed 3-5 times since the last time he mowed...that is not acceptable!
So I got off of the phone with my realtor, drank a glass of water, counted to ten and called my friend.  I told him "you HAVE to mow the yard tonight!" he said "It's not bad but it does need it I was going to take care of it tonight"  I thought NOT BAD! my realtor had no reason to exaggerate about the yard...I'm pretty sure it's at least over your shins...but I just bit my tongue and said "the city has been issuing fines lately and they can be as much as $500, mow it tonight or if I get one you're paying it."  He said it would be done tonight and that he still had a "couple of things" upstairs that he was getting out tonight.  I almost died...a couple of things...SERIOUSLY there is still furniture upstairs!!!!
He did explain the basement at least...Next week is bulk junk pickup for my neighborhood.  He has a couple of old couches in the basement that he needs to get rid of so he is going to start leaving stuff on the curb to have hauled off...which I am fine with...I gave him until Monday to have everything out of the house and has to run the vacuum well in both bedrooms before he moves out.  I will be there next week and expect it to be clean so that I can finish cleaning it.  I am considering driving up there on Saturday after the 5K to see how bad it really is/get started on the stuff necessary to get the house ready to sell...maybe tape off the ceiling etc. to paint and if it isn't too bad maybe even get the floors sanded and ready to polyurethane over.  It wouldn't be my smartest decision but I think it might be the best idea.  The sooner everything is done the sooner it can get listed. 

THEN--I got off of the phone without screaming or calling my friend a liar, went to the dog park to get the puppies and came home and went for a run.  About 1/2 way through the run I got this super sharp pain in my abdomen that was so bad I almost hit the ground.  I stopped moving until it got bearable then walked back to the apt.  I was scared to death it was my appendix (and it may be but I highly doubt it) I have a history of small ovarian cysts which rupture from time to time.  I haven't had one rupture in about 4 years and had forgotten how bad it hurt but  the pain has gone mostly away so I am sure that it was a cyst and not my appendix.  On the bright side it did make me read my TriCare paperwork so that I could look up where I need to go to the doctor/er if necessary :) 

Now I am sitting here complaining to the blogosphere I apologize for venting to all of you!  Thanks for listening :)